"I'm in his hands, I'm in his hands.
Whatever the future holds, I'm in his hands"
These words have been a big part of my devotional time with the Lord these past few months. There have been many days where I have needed that assurance and that peace that comes from knowing that my life and my days are indeed in his hands. I am beginning now to not only know those words as lyrics to a song but I am also beginning to truly trust these words and know them to be true in my life.
If you have been following this blog at all you will know that things are over here have not always gone to plan (well at least according to my plans) but every day I am beginning to see that maybe things have been going EXACTLY according to plan (HIS plan).
A few weeks ago now we were given a new appointment here in the UK. Beginning march 29th we will be Corps Officers at Southwark Corps in London. We are excited for this new opportunity and excited to be part of a new community. Ready to serve and get stuck in.
We did not see this appointment coming at all, but ever so slowly it seems God had been working his plan out all along and we just did not know it. Also ever so slowly God has been giving us a heart for this place EVEN before we knew we were going there.
One of my first weeks at DHQ here I remember gazing out the window and being led to pray for this community and a housing estate ..little did I know then that my Corps appointment would be in that very community.
The last few months when walking around this community I have seen this place in a different light and seen so many different minsitry opportunities. Once again that was God just preparing my heart.
It's a good feeling to know that all along God had been leading us and setting us up for this place to become our ministry home.
I hope that if you ever doubt that God has you in his hands that you will eventually be able to see his handiwork ALL over your situations and the words of that song won't just be lyrics but a truth deep in your heart.
Monday, January 26, 2015
Monday, December 22, 2014
When All Your Dreams Come True
What do you do when all your dreame come true...but they are not what you expected or dreamt?
I am not even sure that question make sense, but it is the place I have found myself over the last few months. Everything I dreamt and prayed about was happening. I was here in London where so many people's dreams come true but there were times I did not feel so happy to be here.
Now don't get me wrong I am super excited to be here. I feel this is where we are supposed to be but there have been some hard and lonely days.
There have been some days where I have wondered if we made the right decision. Days when it seemed like what I wished for was not the reality of what we got. Days when I wondered if we had anything to offer, anything to give. Days when I worry for my girls and wonder if we put our dreams before their needs.
Moving to the mission field ( wherever that may be for you) is never an easy thing. Even if it is all you dreamed and prayed for. When the excitement of being in a new place wears off, your left with a broken heart for people you left behind, for a ministry you left behind. You long for days where things were easy.( where you know your way around, you know the bank system, you know how to pay your bills, etc). You long for recognition of who you are and what you done (no matter how superficial that might seem), you long for a minstry of your own..something to sink your teeth into.
There are some really hard days where you want to pack it up and go home to all that is familiar and where you actually felt like you were at HOME. To a place you felt needed and appreciated and loved ( oh how it looks different after the fact haha)
So what do you do when all your dreams come true, but it is not turning out the way you dreamt it would?
Well I cried a little (or maybe a lot), I sat at home and ate far too much chocolate. I watched numerous episodes of Come Dine with Me, I sat in a room upstairs with my daughter and cried some more.... but I also dug into the word and into God.
As I began to let his word sink in, I decided that nothing was about to change anytime soon, and I just spent time talking to the Lord. Me and the Lord has some pretty full on honest conversations in those early days.
But as I clung to him, he became my home and refuge. I asked him to show me the blessings around me, I asked him to give me new vision, fresh eyes. I asked him to remind me why we chose as a family to do missionary service.
He reminded me. We chose this, becasue we wanted to be uncomfortable, we wanted to be challened, we chose it so our children would experience the world and many different cultures, we chose it because we felt God could use us and we chose this because we wanted to be a part of building Gods kingdom. None of those things had changed... and it seemed we forgot that is what we prayed for. Yet he had not forgotten and he reminded me.
He challenged me about about my desire to be comfortable even here, he challenged and rebuked me for my judgements about people who had served overseas before us, he challenged me about my desire to be known and for my past accomplishments to be known. He challenged me about my selfishness and small world thinking. He made me depend on him and not my surroundings.
Even on days when I felt lost and alone he was with me and together we got through those days. We still get through those days together.
And now 4 months into this journey I see the plans he had for us all along coming into view. We cant see the whole picture yet but we see glimpses of the future. We see that God has not sent us here and then just forgotten about us. I am seeing HIS dreams coming together and starting to form into something beautiful.
So what do you do when all your dreams come true....you give them to God and ask for HIS dreams to come true instead. They are much better than anything you could dream up.
I am not even sure that question make sense, but it is the place I have found myself over the last few months. Everything I dreamt and prayed about was happening. I was here in London where so many people's dreams come true but there were times I did not feel so happy to be here.
Now don't get me wrong I am super excited to be here. I feel this is where we are supposed to be but there have been some hard and lonely days.
There have been some days where I have wondered if we made the right decision. Days when it seemed like what I wished for was not the reality of what we got. Days when I wondered if we had anything to offer, anything to give. Days when I worry for my girls and wonder if we put our dreams before their needs.
Moving to the mission field ( wherever that may be for you) is never an easy thing. Even if it is all you dreamed and prayed for. When the excitement of being in a new place wears off, your left with a broken heart for people you left behind, for a ministry you left behind. You long for days where things were easy.( where you know your way around, you know the bank system, you know how to pay your bills, etc). You long for recognition of who you are and what you done (no matter how superficial that might seem), you long for a minstry of your own..something to sink your teeth into.
There are some really hard days where you want to pack it up and go home to all that is familiar and where you actually felt like you were at HOME. To a place you felt needed and appreciated and loved ( oh how it looks different after the fact haha)
So what do you do when all your dreams come true, but it is not turning out the way you dreamt it would?
Well I cried a little (or maybe a lot), I sat at home and ate far too much chocolate. I watched numerous episodes of Come Dine with Me, I sat in a room upstairs with my daughter and cried some more.... but I also dug into the word and into God.
As I began to let his word sink in, I decided that nothing was about to change anytime soon, and I just spent time talking to the Lord. Me and the Lord has some pretty full on honest conversations in those early days.
But as I clung to him, he became my home and refuge. I asked him to show me the blessings around me, I asked him to give me new vision, fresh eyes. I asked him to remind me why we chose as a family to do missionary service.
He reminded me. We chose this, becasue we wanted to be uncomfortable, we wanted to be challened, we chose it so our children would experience the world and many different cultures, we chose it because we felt God could use us and we chose this because we wanted to be a part of building Gods kingdom. None of those things had changed... and it seemed we forgot that is what we prayed for. Yet he had not forgotten and he reminded me.
He challenged me about about my desire to be comfortable even here, he challenged and rebuked me for my judgements about people who had served overseas before us, he challenged me about my desire to be known and for my past accomplishments to be known. He challenged me about my selfishness and small world thinking. He made me depend on him and not my surroundings.
Even on days when I felt lost and alone he was with me and together we got through those days. We still get through those days together.
And now 4 months into this journey I see the plans he had for us all along coming into view. We cant see the whole picture yet but we see glimpses of the future. We see that God has not sent us here and then just forgotten about us. I am seeing HIS dreams coming together and starting to form into something beautiful.
So what do you do when all your dreams come true....you give them to God and ask for HIS dreams to come true instead. They are much better than anything you could dream up.
Shopping in London
So shopping in London has been an interesting experience. It has everythng you could possibly want, but not where you might expect or want it to be.
There is no Target or Walmart here and you could say some Supermarkets like Sainsbury or Waitrose are miniture ones of those, but truly they are not the same. There is no one stop shop for it all. Which is fine I guess, except when you want it all in one place.
Case in point...we do public transport and so the least amount of traveling you have to do when shopping with two little ones is best, but that is kind of impossible here. When planning for Alina's bday party I had to go to one shop for the food, another shop for her present, another shop for the plates etc, and a few different shops for the decorations and table items and another place for pictures. It was a bit of pain to say the least.
Now shopping online is a big deal here, but I am a visual person and I need to see it in front of me. There is a store here called Argos which is kind of like Target, execpt there is no store...you go into the "store" read through a huge giant catalog, write down what you want, pay for it and then stand in line while they get it or send it to you.Ahhh I hate it. I want to walk through aisles and see things for myself, touch and feel things. It does save you money though as you don't generally do any impulse shopping.
Also stores here close EARLY. There is only one late night of shopping and that is Thursday nights. Otherwise stores shut at 6pm and supermarkets around 10pm. Supermarkets shut at 4pm on Sundays.
I don't really have a problem with this, as it is nice that people don't have to work all crazy hours and that life is not centered around shopping, but it is a pain on Sunday evenings and you have not planned ahead...which is usually my case.
There are a whole lot of mom and pop type shops here and I do like that. I like that big corporations like walmart have not taken over and families get to have their own business's. It's just a pain for a lazy person like me who doesnt want to have to go to a million places to get what I want.
I can say though that I do not shop like I use to. No heading to target to buy things I don't need. I really have to need something in order for me to make the effort. Also I don't have anywhere to store it and so unless I am going to use it, I am probably not going to get it.
There is no Target or Walmart here and you could say some Supermarkets like Sainsbury or Waitrose are miniture ones of those, but truly they are not the same. There is no one stop shop for it all. Which is fine I guess, except when you want it all in one place.
Case in point...we do public transport and so the least amount of traveling you have to do when shopping with two little ones is best, but that is kind of impossible here. When planning for Alina's bday party I had to go to one shop for the food, another shop for her present, another shop for the plates etc, and a few different shops for the decorations and table items and another place for pictures. It was a bit of pain to say the least.
Now shopping online is a big deal here, but I am a visual person and I need to see it in front of me. There is a store here called Argos which is kind of like Target, execpt there is no store...you go into the "store" read through a huge giant catalog, write down what you want, pay for it and then stand in line while they get it or send it to you.Ahhh I hate it. I want to walk through aisles and see things for myself, touch and feel things. It does save you money though as you don't generally do any impulse shopping.
Also stores here close EARLY. There is only one late night of shopping and that is Thursday nights. Otherwise stores shut at 6pm and supermarkets around 10pm. Supermarkets shut at 4pm on Sundays.
I don't really have a problem with this, as it is nice that people don't have to work all crazy hours and that life is not centered around shopping, but it is a pain on Sunday evenings and you have not planned ahead...which is usually my case.
There are a whole lot of mom and pop type shops here and I do like that. I like that big corporations like walmart have not taken over and families get to have their own business's. It's just a pain for a lazy person like me who doesnt want to have to go to a million places to get what I want.
I can say though that I do not shop like I use to. No heading to target to buy things I don't need. I really have to need something in order for me to make the effort. Also I don't have anywhere to store it and so unless I am going to use it, I am probably not going to get it.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Transportation in London
Transportation in london is both amazing and easily accessible and maddening and frustrating.
One the one hand there are buses and trains to everywhere you need to go and where I live there are bus stops literally right around the corner and just super easy to get to.
Trains and buses are also pretty regular so there is usually not a lot of waiting for them.
I really don't mind catching public transportation and especially like it when I have been able to get in interesting conversations with people.
I like that someone else has to worry about traffic and for the most part I can enjoy a journey hanging out with my family.
I like getting on random buses as they allow me to see the sites around me and I get to explore this great place called London.
On the other hand it seems that every other day the schedule for these buses and trains change and the train that use to take you to your destination does not go there anymore and the next train is 30 mins away....now thats a pain.
And on the weekends you never know what train line will be down and how many buses and trains you will need to catch to get to your destination...another pain..
I am learning the best times to catch public transport with a 3 year old and a stroller...
Mon-Fri....do not get on anything before 9am if you have children...you and your children will be smothered in human flesh and may not make it out alive.
Do not get on a train between 4:00pm-7:00pm...once again your life and the life of your children will be at serious risk.
I do not get on a bus between 3-4pm as school children with attitudes and no sense of manners will crowd the bus and will cuss and yell and scare your children as they have done to Priya many times.
I also know where to sit on a train in order to be closest to the lift when I get out and when to catch a bus because there is no lift at a certain station.
I know to get on a bus one stop after the hospital and not before as the crowds will have left the bus at the hospital stop.
I know that on weekends I should go into the city on a train super early or go on a bus after 10am as the crowds are CRAZY.
I know that when it is dark I catch a train to one station further down the line as there is more light and more people to keep me safe.
I feel exposed to more of the world when taking public transportation because you see and experience a whole lot more of people...both the good and the bad and that can be interesting when you have small children.
I find public transportation both challenging and a blessing. What I love is that it does FORCE me to interact with people...to not just go from my house to the car, to the office, to the car, to my house.
Instead I feel the heat or the cold, I hear the arguments or laughter, I sit with my child and explain why they said such and such and I get to have teaching moments. I get to play a game with priya as we walk to the train and we see a plane and we wonder what country it is going to and she wants them all to be going to some random country. My children make others interact with them instead of staring straight ahead. with a frown...cause really no matter how hard you try you cannot resist Alina saying "ello" over and over until you smile at her.
Its not always pleasant or easy but I believe it's party of the ministry my family has here and I feel we need to keep at it and instead of complaining we need to ask the Lord to bless this small offering of ours.
One the one hand there are buses and trains to everywhere you need to go and where I live there are bus stops literally right around the corner and just super easy to get to.
Trains and buses are also pretty regular so there is usually not a lot of waiting for them.
I really don't mind catching public transportation and especially like it when I have been able to get in interesting conversations with people.
I like that someone else has to worry about traffic and for the most part I can enjoy a journey hanging out with my family.
I like getting on random buses as they allow me to see the sites around me and I get to explore this great place called London.
On the other hand it seems that every other day the schedule for these buses and trains change and the train that use to take you to your destination does not go there anymore and the next train is 30 mins away....now thats a pain.
And on the weekends you never know what train line will be down and how many buses and trains you will need to catch to get to your destination...another pain..
I am learning the best times to catch public transport with a 3 year old and a stroller...
Mon-Fri....do not get on anything before 9am if you have children...you and your children will be smothered in human flesh and may not make it out alive.
Do not get on a train between 4:00pm-7:00pm...once again your life and the life of your children will be at serious risk.
I do not get on a bus between 3-4pm as school children with attitudes and no sense of manners will crowd the bus and will cuss and yell and scare your children as they have done to Priya many times.
I also know where to sit on a train in order to be closest to the lift when I get out and when to catch a bus because there is no lift at a certain station.
I know to get on a bus one stop after the hospital and not before as the crowds will have left the bus at the hospital stop.
I know that on weekends I should go into the city on a train super early or go on a bus after 10am as the crowds are CRAZY.
I know that when it is dark I catch a train to one station further down the line as there is more light and more people to keep me safe.
I feel exposed to more of the world when taking public transportation because you see and experience a whole lot more of people...both the good and the bad and that can be interesting when you have small children.
I find public transportation both challenging and a blessing. What I love is that it does FORCE me to interact with people...to not just go from my house to the car, to the office, to the car, to my house.
Instead I feel the heat or the cold, I hear the arguments or laughter, I sit with my child and explain why they said such and such and I get to have teaching moments. I get to play a game with priya as we walk to the train and we see a plane and we wonder what country it is going to and she wants them all to be going to some random country. My children make others interact with them instead of staring straight ahead. with a frown...cause really no matter how hard you try you cannot resist Alina saying "ello" over and over until you smile at her.
Its not always pleasant or easy but I believe it's party of the ministry my family has here and I feel we need to keep at it and instead of complaining we need to ask the Lord to bless this small offering of ours.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Expectations
Something that I am also learning on a daily basis is to let go of my expectations and to hold things loosely in my hands and heart.
When you move you can naturally have expectations of how things will be when you get there. These expectations can come from past experiences, things you have read or things that have even been discussed with you.
My advice is let go of them all and just come into the situation zero expectations.
Don't expect that things will work the same way as they did where you came from, don't expect the experience will be the same as last time you were there, don't expect for things to just go smoothly.
Have zero expectations and just enjoy what God places in front of you.
Our family has been incredibly blessed here and we are having a wonderful time. But things have not gone as we expected they would. Our first few weeks were a little different, our ministry was a little different, living in London is different when living there with kids instead of being single. Banks are different and The Salvation Army is different (good but different) child care is different. Everything is different.
We as our family have adjusted well and I think that is because we had very few expectations.
Even now as we truly are beginning to settle and figure out our role I have zero expectations and I am holding my dreams and prayers very loosely.
I want to be ready for whatever The Lord has for us and when we have expectations we can miss the blessings.
When you move you can naturally have expectations of how things will be when you get there. These expectations can come from past experiences, things you have read or things that have even been discussed with you.
My advice is let go of them all and just come into the situation zero expectations.
Don't expect that things will work the same way as they did where you came from, don't expect the experience will be the same as last time you were there, don't expect for things to just go smoothly.
Have zero expectations and just enjoy what God places in front of you.
Our family has been incredibly blessed here and we are having a wonderful time. But things have not gone as we expected they would. Our first few weeks were a little different, our ministry was a little different, living in London is different when living there with kids instead of being single. Banks are different and The Salvation Army is different (good but different) child care is different. Everything is different.
We as our family have adjusted well and I think that is because we had very few expectations.
Even now as we truly are beginning to settle and figure out our role I have zero expectations and I am holding my dreams and prayers very loosely.
I want to be ready for whatever The Lord has for us and when we have expectations we can miss the blessings.
Packing
So here is my advice for packing to move overseas (for all it's worth), especially if you are packing to serve overseas with The Salvation Army
When you begin packing have three piles
1) to take
2) to store
3) to give away/ sell etc
Begin sorting it all out and when you feel like you have got your head around it.... Half all the things you are taking with you and all the things you are storing .... Then half the stuff you are taking with you again!! Seriously
We thought we had done really well, we have a lot of things away and we were under the weight we were allowed for storage and shipping. So we felt good.
We get here and begin unpacking and think what the heck were we thinking!!! Why did we bring this, why did we bring that...we still have boxes and boxes of items just sitting in a our garage.
I was actually incredibly ashamed of how many things we had.
So there you have it... If you are planning to move overseas seriously limit what you take...bring only the essentials and a few items that will make your house look like a home...you don't need the rest of that junk...
Great opportunity to simplify your life
When you begin packing have three piles
1) to take
2) to store
3) to give away/ sell etc
Begin sorting it all out and when you feel like you have got your head around it.... Half all the things you are taking with you and all the things you are storing .... Then half the stuff you are taking with you again!! Seriously
We thought we had done really well, we have a lot of things away and we were under the weight we were allowed for storage and shipping. So we felt good.
We get here and begin unpacking and think what the heck were we thinking!!! Why did we bring this, why did we bring that...we still have boxes and boxes of items just sitting in a our garage.
I was actually incredibly ashamed of how many things we had.
So there you have it... If you are planning to move overseas seriously limit what you take...bring only the essentials and a few items that will make your house look like a home...you don't need the rest of that junk...
Great opportunity to simplify your life
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