Fear and Anxiety

So I have been very anxious the last few days and today was the worst of it.

I am a bit of a control freak. I like to be in control and I like to know the outcome of things.  I like order and feeling settled.

Right now I have no control over anything and it freaks me out completely.

I need something to control and to be able to know the outcome.

There are two things that really really freak me out and I panic.

One is filling out ViSA and other immigration paperwork and the other is going through customs at the airport.

Immigration stuff freaks me out . It is so serious and going to immigration offices makes me feel like a criminal. My anxiety level is always a 10.

Today I had to go to immigration and I needed a certain paper before we could get in. I did not have it and had to leave and get it and then come back. It was an easy fix but as soon I got in the car I cried. I had been on edge about this visit for days and I just felt like I messed up.

We came back and got our bio metrics done and we were told to send our papers in within 2
Weeks.

This created  even more anxiety because I would have to send them by myself and what if I made a mistake etc etc .

I just wanted it all out of my hands.

This fear and anxiety I have is not of God. It is the enemy and he is trying to destroy what should be joyful and exciting times . He comes and steals my joy, causes me to try and control things (which never works out) and causes my anxiety level to sky rocket.

I am working hard to find peace in The Lord. To release control of this whole situation. Trying to memorize scripture that will sink deep into my heart.

I think it is about surrender too. By holding onto tightly we don't let The Lord take over and it kind of becomes an idol to us.

I try to think ... So that's the worst that can happen if this does not work out... And usually the worst is not as bad as I think.

I also think that these situations are teaching me to trust in The Lord more...complete trust. When I think I can control any of these things that is pride.  When I begin to think any of it is about me , then that is when I begin to feel fear and anxiety .

This opportunity, this appointment comes from The Lord. He will have HIS way. I do not need to fear the outcome.


What are the things you are fearful and anxious about? Maybe it's time to release them to The Lord.